The Hardest Relationship I've Ever Had is the One with Myself

Updated: Feb 9


The types of relationships you can have are endless, and you can’t help but be in them.


In 58 odd years of relationship experience – I’ve been young and single, married for 17 years, divorced, jaded and single, dated my butt off, I have a cache of multi-cultural and multi-dimensional friends from around the globe, a mother, kids, a triple decker family unit, colleagues, class mates and neighbours. I have relationships with my clients. I have a relationship with my refrigerator, my body, my mirror and Netflix. I am in relationship with the sea, the Earth and the starry constellations.


But hands down without question - the hardest relationship I’ve ever had is the one with myself!!


I’ve abused myself

Not listened to myself

Denied the truth

Talked to myself too much

Made myself feel like I’m not enough . . .

Or too much

I didn’t trust me

I didn’t like me

I didn’t love me

I didn’t value my innate worth

And held myself back in every aspect of love and life

I’ve clung to the past and refused to move on

I’ve let myself become too comfortable with things – even if they sucked

I was a big pain in my own butt and for a long time I didn’t love me the way I want everyone else too - anyone else to!


I have looked outside me for the love I wouldn’t give myself. But now that I’ve changed my attitude, perspective and ways of being - a lot of the above relationship issues with myself have resolved.


And I can tell ya a little secret – That looking outside yourself for a love you won’t lavish on yourself is never gonna work!


The quality of your relationship with yourself defines the quality and potential of relationships with all other people. It is the single most important key to finding love with another.


The relationship we have with ourself is the most important one of all. It defines the quality of all of your other relationships whether with people or life. It also defines the potential growth within all your relationships - new or old and of course including, with your partner or spouse!


If you want to be loved the way you want to be loved – you must learn to love yourself. You must learn to:

  • Deepen your love for you

  • Stop abusing yourself

  • Start listened to yourself

  • Stop denying your inner knowing

  • Practice inner stillness and presence

  • Start honouring who you are

  • and valuing what you have to bring

  • and trusting yourself

  • Say “No” to what doesn’t lovingly support you

  • Let go of past hurts,

  • let yourself move forward

  • Find a new way of being and living that works


Re-set your standards of self-love, then see what changes happen in your relationships and life ... and keep us posted!

Jeannette Singer

Healing Your Hurts is Possible - Change is Too 

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