The Hardest Relationship I've Ever Had is the One with Myself
Updated: Feb 9, 2020
The types of relationships you can have are endless, and you can’t help but be in them.
In 58 odd years of relationship experience – I’ve been young and single, married for 17 years, divorced, jaded and single, dated my butt off, I have a cache of multi-cultural and multi-dimensional friends from around the globe, a mother, kids, a triple decker family unit, colleagues, class mates and neighbours. I have relationships with my clients. I have a relationship with my refrigerator, my body, my mirror and Netflix. I am in relationship with the sea, the Earth and the starry constellations.
But hands down without question - the hardest relationship I’ve ever had is the one with myself!!
I’ve abused myself
Not listened to myself
Denied the truth
Talked to myself too much
Made myself feel like I’m not enough . . .
Or too much
I didn’t trust me
I didn’t like me
I didn’t love me
I didn’t value my innate worth
And held myself back in every aspect of love and life
I’ve clung to the past and refused to move on
I’ve let myself become too comfortable with things – even if they sucked
I was a big pain in my own butt and for a long time I didn’t love me the way I want everyone else too - anyone else to!
I have looked outside me for the love I wouldn’t give myself. But now that I’ve changed my attitude, perspective and ways of being - a lot of the above relationship issues with myself have resolved.
And I can tell ya a little secret – That looking outside yourself for a love you won’t lavish on yourself is never gonna work!
The quality of your relationship with yourself defines the quality and potential of relationships with all other people. It is the single most important key to finding love with another.
The relationship we have with ourself is the most important one of all. It defines the quality of all of your other relationships whether with people or life. It also defines the potential growth within all your relationships - new or old and of course including, with your partner or spouse!
If you want to be loved the way you want to be loved – you must learn to love yourself. You must learn to:
Deepen your love for you
Stop abusing yourself
Start listened to yourself
Stop denying your inner knowing
Practice inner stillness and presence
Start honouring who you are
and valuing what you have to bring
and trusting yourself
Say “No” to what doesn’t lovingly support you
Let go of past hurts,
let yourself move forward
Find a new way of being and living that works
Re-set your standards of self-love, then see what changes happen in your relationships and life ... and keep us posted!